Reading 30 memoirs by women to inspire my 30s [21–30]
My original goal in 2020, taken from my 2019 goal, was just to read a book a month. No theme. No rush. But somewhere between reading Michelle Obama in early 2020, and then the uprising of Black Lives Matter, had me wanting to read the life experiences of those with different backgrounds than mine. It was also my 30th birthday this year, so all of this combined to form this goal: to read 30 memoirs by a diverse group of influential women, to inspire my 30s. I want to explore the themes of womanhood, motherhood, careers, partnerships, trauma, mental health, and more. And I might as well share it here for all the other almost/early 30-something’s in my life. ICYMI: In December I shared reviews of memoirs 1–10; then in March I shared my thoughts on memoirs 11–20. Now here are reviews of memoirs 21–30 featuring an overview, a rating of 5, and an excerpt. But first, here’s how I define my star ratings:
⭐⭐⭐⭐-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐=inspirational, relatable, great storytelling, perfection
⭐⭐⭐=good stories but just not life changing
⭐-⭐⭐=boring and not relatable
Sue Monk Kidd — Travelling with Pomegranates
Overview: Written by Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter, the chapters go back and fourth between them as they travel to Greece, Turkey and France — both facing major transitions in their life, as Sue deals with aging and Anne deals with graduating.
Recommended for: People who love travel and are close with their mother or daughter.
Rating: ⭐⭐.5/5
^ Honestly simply because it was a little too spiritual for me, and because my mom’s dead.
Excerpt: “I realize I’m trying to work out the boundaries. How to love her without interfering. How to step back and let her have her private world and yet still be an intimate part of it. When she talks about her feelings, I have to consciously tell myself she wants me to receive them, not fix them.”
Christie Tate — Group
Overview: Christie is working hard to become a lawyer while dealing with some difficult bouts of depression. She joins group therapy and shares her learnings, her fights with her therapist, her attempts at dating, and more.
Recommended for: Those suffering from a mental illness.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐.5/5
Excerpt: “I wept…for how deeply afraid I was that my life would never truly change or, worse, that true change would ask more of me than I could give.”
Malala Yousafzai — I am Malala
Overview: We all know Malala right? The girl who fought for girl’s rights to education and was shot in the face by the Taliban? Her book covers her upbringing in Pakistan, her Father’s influence on her passion for education, and eventually, the fateful day she was shot and the months that followed.
Recommended for: Those interested in international development issues, women’s/girls rights, education.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐.5/5
Excerpt: “We realize the importance of our voices only when we are silenced.”
Gloria Steinhem — My Life on the Road
Overview: Don’t assume you’re getting a deep dive into feminist history in this book — it’s surprisingly light on the feminism and politics, and more about Gloria’s travels across the USA meeting and learning from strangers, and her rise into activism.
Recommended for: If you’re interested in a little feminism, a little politics, activism, but also just the idea of travelling and learning from strangers.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5
Excerpt: “I myself cried when I got angry, then became unable to explain why I was angry in the first place. Later I would discover this was endemic among female human beings. Anger is supposed to be “unfeminine” so we suppress it -until it overflows. I could see that not speaking up made my mother feel worse. This was my first hint of the truism that depression is anger turned inward; thus women are twice as likely to be depressed. My mother paid a high price for caring so much, yet being able to do so little about it. In this way, she led me toward am activist place where she herself could never go.”
Jenny Lawson — Let’s Pretend This Never Happened
Overview: Jenny Lawson is a hilarious blogger turned author who writes unbelieveable short stories about the random things she gets into — especially when she’s anxious and losing sleep. [I like her second book even better, Furiously Happy]
Recommended for: Those who suffer from mental illness.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5
Excerpt: “You should just accept who you are, flaws and all, because if you try to be someone you aren’t, then eventually some turkey is going to shit all over your well-crafted facade, so you might as well save yourself the effort and enjoy your zombie books.”
Tiffany Haddish — The Last Black Unicorn
Overview: Read about Tiffany’s path to comedy and fame, and her relationships along the way. The reason I gave it a bad review is twofold (1) my personal taste, I think I just don’t care to read about Hollywood behind the scenes and (2) you assume this is going to be a funny book because she’s a comedian, but I didn’t find it very funny and, in fact, she goes through some really heavy stuff so TW.
Recommended for: People interested in hollywood and the comedy scene.
Rating: ⭐⭐/5
Excerpt: “I believe my purpose is to bring joy to people, to make them laugh, and to share my story to help them. To show people that no matter what, they matter, and they can succeed. No matter how bad things go, no matter how dark your life is, there is a reason for it. You can find beauty in it, and you can get better. I know, because I’ve done it. That’s why my comedy so often comes from my pain. In my life, and I hope in yours, I want us to grow roses out of the poop.”
Megan Rapinoe — One Life
Overview: If you don’t know (cause I didn’t): Megan Rapinoe is a USA women’s soccer star who (1) supported Colin Kaepernick and got in trouble for it and (2) has been involved in the longtime fight for the (extremely successful and profitable) women’s soccer team’s fight for equal pay.
Recommended for: Anyone interested in the intersection of professional sports and activism.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐.5/5
Excerpt: “Real change lies within all of us. It is in the choices we make every day. It’s in how we talk, who we hire, and what we permit others to say in our presence. It’s in reading more, thinking more, considering a different perspective. At its simplest, it’s in whether we’re willing to spend even five minutes a day thinking about how we can make the world better.”
Lindy West — Shrill
Overview: Lindy West is a successful writer and stand up comedian who happens to be plus sized — which I only mention because it’s a big part of the book. She discusses body politics and feminism in sometimes funny, sometimes thought provoking, and always well-written ways.
Recommended for: Anyone dealing with body confidence and self-esteem.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5
Excerpt: “As a woman, my body is scrutinized, policed, and treated as a public commodity. As a fat woman, my body is also lampooned, openly reviled, and associated with moral and intellectual failure. My body limits my job prospects, access to medical care and fair trials, and — the one thing Hollywood movies and Internet trolls most agree on — my ability to be loved. So the subtext, when a thin person asks a fat person, ‘Where do you get your confidence?’ is, ‘You must be some sort of alien because if I looked like you, I would definitely throw myself into the sea.”
Dolly Parton — My Life and Other Unfinished Business
Overview: Read about Dolly’s humble upbringing in the South, her relentless pursuit of stardom, her adventures in Nashville, and her love of all things beautiful and sparkly.
Recommended for: People who love Dolly, country music, Nashville, etc.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐/5
Excerpt: “They think I’m simpleminded because I seem to be happy. Why shouldn’t I be happy? I have everything I ever wanted and more. Maybe I am simpleminded. Maybe that’s the key: simple.”
The big finale double feature:
Nora McInerny — It’s Okay to Cry (Laughing is Cool Too)
Nora McInerny —No Happy Endings
Overview: Okay it’s not really a spoiler if you find it out on the back of the books right? Well then: Nora McInerny lost her second baby, her 35 year old husband, and her dad all within the same month. These books, and her podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking, involve raw honest accounts of grief, her resilience, and how she raises her kids to know the man they lost.
Recommended for: People like me who are cool with reading really sad shit. And feeling feelings. And dealing with grief.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5
Excerpt: “You cannot bubble wrap and protect your heart from life, and why should you? It is meant to be used, and sometimes broken. Use it up, wear it out, leave nothing left undone or unsaid to the people you love. Let it get banged up and busted if it needs to. That’s what your heart is there for.”
Coming soon: I’m going to wrap all 30 memoirs up in a pretty bow and write about my greatest learnings from them, my top picks, and more!
