Reading 30 memoirs by women to inspire my 30s [1–10]
My original goal in 2020, taken from my 2019 goal, was just to read a book a month. No theme. No rush. But somewhere between reading Michelle Obama in early 2020, and then the uprising of Black Lives Matter, had me wanting to read the life experiences of those with different backgrounds than mine. It was also my 30th birthday this year, so all of this combined to form this goal: to read 30 memoirs by a diverse group of influential women, to inspire my 30s. I want to explore the themes of womanhood, motherhood, careers, partnerships, trauma, mental health, and more. And I might as well share it here for all the other almost/early 30-something’s in my life. Here you’ll find a synopsis, a quote, and rating for the first ten books I’ve read.
Here’s how I define the star ratings:
⭐⭐⭐⭐-⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐=inspirational, relatable, great storytelling, perfection
⭐⭐⭐=good stories but just not life changing
⭐-⭐⭐=boring and not relatable
Michelle Obama — Becoming
I read Becoming before I set out on this quest to read 30 memoirs by women, so in a way, this book is what inspired me to do just that. Michelle Obama reminded me what I love about memoirs, that someone I thought was one of the greatest smartest women in this world (still do), is also so human, humble, and flawed like the rest of us. Michelle inspires me to believe I can achieve more than I believe, but also that it’s okay to be imperfect.
“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.”
⭐⭐⭐⭐/5
Karen Kilgariff & Georgia Hardstaark — Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered
This pick is a niche one, really only recommended for fans of the podcast My Favorite Murder. As a true crime lover, I’ve been listening to Karen & Georgia’s podcast for years (even saw it live in 2019), so it was really fun to learn more about their background and lives before the podcast took off.
“We barely get any time on this planet. Do not spend it pleasing other people. Fuck politeness. Live life exactly how you want to live it so you can love the life you make for yourself.”
⭐⭐⭐/5
Maya Angelou — I know why the caged bird sings
Maya Angelou has seven memoirs that follow her life story, this being the first and most famous among them. Here, she covers her childhood and adolescence growing up in a small Black community in the South, raised by her strong strict grandmother. I think Maya’s books and life story are an important read for understanding Black American history starting in the 1930s. The unexpected twist is that so far her second book is actually my favourite despite this being the famous one. Seeing Maya come of age in her late teens and early 20’s in Gather Together in my Name shows how gritty, funny, bold, and independent she was.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
⭐⭐⭐.5/5
Glennon Doyle — Untamed
I know, I know, this was one of the most (over)hyped books of 2020. I used to be among those who found Glennon Doyle in general kind of preachy and I used to avoid her books until an influential woman in my life lent me her copy of Untamed. It wasn’t even going to be on my list of memoirs. But I devoured it in a weekend and immediately bought my own copy — which I only do for books that I know I’m going to read over and over in my life. Untamed is a pep talk reminding women the ways we’ve been told our whole lives to be quieter, cleaner, better, prettier, whatever and reminds us to just be ourselves to live our fullest lives.
“When women lose themselves, the world loses its way. We do not need more selfless women. What we need right now is more women who have detoxed themselves so completely from the world’s expectations that they are full of nothing but themselves. What we need are women who are full of themselves. A woman who is full of herself knows and trusts herself enough to say and do what must be done. She lets the rest burn.”
⭐⭐⭐⭐/5
Tara Westover — Educated
Part of my goal for memoirs was to read the life experiences of those who lived different lives from me (since I/we always naturally gravitate to reading those who are similar to us). Tara’s life was one of those examples. She was raised by extremist Mormon parents, isolated from society in the midwestern mountains. It was fascinating to read her slow and steady awakening to realizing what else is out there, a world she might like to be a part of.
“My life was narrated for me by others. Their voices were forceful, emphatic, absolute. It had never occurred to me that my voice might be as strong as theirs.”
⭐⭐⭐/5
Jennifer Worth — The Midwife
I actually should have been disappointed by this one. I bought it because the jacket summary said something about exploring motherhood, and that’s a topic I’m very interested in at this point in my life. The book wasn’t the exploration I thought it was going to be. BUT I really liked it nonetheless. Jennifer Worth writes short stories of her work as a midwife in London in the 1950’s when midwifery was treated much differently than it is now AND women’s reproductive health was facing a revolution with the invention of birth control.
“Whoever heard of a midwife as a literary heroine? Yet midwifery is the very stuff of drama. Every child is conceived either in love or lust, is born in pain, followed by joy or sometimes remorse. A midwife is in the thick of it, she sees it all.”
⭐⭐⭐/5
Shonda Rhimes — The Year of Yes
I highly recommend this book if you are (a) a type-A personality or (b) a fan of Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder, and especially if you’re a fan of both. As the title suggests, Shonda takes on a year of saying yes to everything she can after realizing being a busy workaholic, tired single mom, and anxious human has her saying no to a lot of potentially joyful things.
“There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be.”
⭐⭐⭐⭐/5
Elaine Welteroth — More Than Enough
Note this is the only 5 star rating in the first 10 memoirs I read. Because in a difficult period of my life and career where I was seeking out, reading, listening to all the self help/wellness/meditation/therapy/healing resources out there — it was Elaine’s voice (audiobook) that had me really getting in tune with listening to my intuition like she has through her whole career. It helped me come to terms with needed to quit a job that had my whole body telling me it was the wrong job for me. If you don’t know her backstory: Elaine made history being not only one of the youngest, but also only the 2nd Black Editor-in-Chief of a major magazine. But her success story isn’t the type that makes you feel inadequate in comparison, it can make you feel powerful enough to strive for greatness too.
“We don’t prioritize our time with ourselves. We rarely set aside moments to be still, to access our center. And the bottom line is, when we don’t focus on our inner light, it dims.”
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5
Rupi Kaur — home body
Because this is poetry, and because I own all her books and was going to read them anyways, I wasn’t going to include this in my list of memoirs to read. BUT I had to. Because all of Rupi Kaur’s poetry books are inspired by her own life experiences. All of her books cover similar topics, love, heartbreak, family, trauma, womanhood… but this book may be my favourite because of the deeper exploration of the theme of mental illness. The way she wrote about her depression and anxiety, and finding her way back to herself made me feel seen.
“on days you can’t hear yourself
slow down to
let your mind and body
catch up to each other
- stillness”
⭐⭐⭐⭐/5
Ann Patchett — This is the Story of a Happy Marriage
The lowest score of the bunch. I frankly do not like Ann Patchett’s writing style. I thought I would love this book because it’s short stories/essays, and I tend to like that format of writing but… I find her quite pretentious and boring. The only person I’d recommend this book to is an aspiring writer, because some of her stories cover how she became a writer, and the entire book is a compilation of articles of hers that were published in major publications. The only thing I liked was her love of her dog, for which there are 2 stories.
“Sometimes love does not have the most honorable beginnings, and the endings, the endings will break you in half. It’s everything in between we live for.”
⭐⭐/5
